I found this Lincoln on FB market place.  1984, the year I started kindergarten and my family was living in El Dorado, Arkansas.  I was five and just 2 years prior I'd wrecked my mother's Buick Electra - she never forgave me for that.  My mother, Gloria, was married to my step-father at the time and he ran the body shop at the Lincoln-Mercury dealership in Camden, Arkansas.  Mother had always wanted a new Lincoln and they bought one just like this one shortly after my birthday in July.  Cars have always been a big deal to me, an obsession really.  I was over the moon when I saw this beast pull up at dusk in front of Aunt Bobby's house, where I stayed every day of my life until I was eight years old while my parents worked.  The glow of the opera lights and the big shiny disc wheel covers on a car that seems 3 miles long was almost more than I could stand.  As mom came down the walk I met her and asked if it was ours and she said yes.  I asked her if it took all the money in her purse to buy it and she laughed as she took a long drag off her Eve Ultra Light 120 and said it did.  The smell of a new car and the fact it was a Lincoln, I knew we had arrived.  My step-father, Jim, later traded out the base model discs for wire wheel covers and put a personalized license plate on it that said "DOLL BABY", that was my mother's nickname.  He wasn't as sophisticated as my mother but he meant well and she reluctantly let it slide.  I found out later this was an attempt for him to try to make their marriage work.   Shortly after this he opened his own collision repair center and it was a booming business, he really did have the magic touch to put cars back together without a trace of the damage that had once plagued them.  Mother was hard to please but the fact that Jim was a recovering alcoholic didn't help his delicate grasp on reality and that also didn't help his inability to handle success.  They were married for about 6 months after these big purchases and he lost his battle with the bottle.  The business was taken from the bank and mother divorced him with just her income from working as the chief of admitting at Union Medical Center and that wasn't a whole lot.  On a Friday night in January we packed up the Lincoln and headed to Camden to stay the weekend with my grandmother, Virginia.  I heard she and my mother talking in the kitchen and I remember hearing phrases like "who would people think I was trying to put on heirs" and "that was more than anyone should have to spend for a car".  I didn't really know what that meant but the next afternoon mom came home in an Oldsmobile station wagon and cried the rest of the evening.  I later learned that my mom had asked my grandmother to buy the car for what she owed and they could swap vehicles and that meant mom would take her Buick.  My grandmother was comfortable financially but I know now that was due to not being extravagant on things like cars.  Mom took the Lincoln back to the dealership where she bought it and they accepted the return and just called it even.  Looking back on that it was the last hope of a successful marriage and like the marriage itself, the car went away too.  Over the years I've searched for one like that same car that pulled up on that dusky evening and I found this one - and as much as I wanted to buy it, it was a little too pricy for a toy at $12,500 even with only 27,000 miles.  I find lots of cars on the internet that remind me of different times of my and loved ones life.  I dream about buying them and sharing them with others but when it comes down to the deed, I have too much of my grandmother's blood running through my veins and admit to myself it's a little more than I should commit to.  This car came along at the same time I found out I could take a 2 year acting course online and also when I came to the realization if I took said course I'd have to give up working 6 days a week as I had been for the last 10 months.  So, I accepted the course obligation, gave my notice at work so I could devote my full attention to my chosen profession, and let the car go on to another dreamer.  One day I'll be able to buy what I want without thinking of the consequences - won't that be nice?