Gin Gin and Doll Baby.

This photo was taken on 12/25/1970.  Mothers and daughters experience a lot of things together - buying clothes, taking trips, cooking meals, etc.  In the span of two years, they both experienced being widows.  My mother's first husband died in 4/21/1968 and my grandfather died 12/19/1970.  I don't know what it was like for two people stricken with grief to battle that anguish together, but they did.  

I always thought of these two as my mother and my grandmother.  I talked to these people about things that happened in my present day, at the time, and where I did ask them about things that happened in the past - I didn't experience those things at the same time.  

I had a special conversation with a mentor of mine, Toni Brock, last week and we both talked about how we take for granted what we know about our parents.  We only knew them from the time we entered the world but these had an entire life before we entered it.  My grandmother was the type of person that looked exactly the same at 6pm as she did at 6am - never a hair out of place or a wrinkle in her clothing.  She would empty the ashtray before you could snub out your cigarette and according to one of my older cousins, you could barely get your panties pulled up before she was scrubbing out the toilet.  Looking back on all this, she was definitely what we now call, OCD.  She was a "safe bet" person that kept her investments low risk and all of her affairs in order up to the minute.  After I was born she had colon cancer in 1987 and slowly wasted away until 1995 - she loved to laugh but she wasn't the same person after her illness, as we can surely understand.  She traveled to San Diego, CA, in 1943 on the promise that my grandfather would marry her and worked in a Chinese laundry until she moved back to Arkansas to give birth to my mother after my grandfather was deployed for service in WWII.  My grandparents were only married 27 years but after 1970, she proved herself to be a very independent woman.  She was the statistician for International Paper Co. in Camden, AR, and not even for the times - she made a very comfortable living for herself and also provided for other members of our family in their times of need.  One of my cousins, Gary, who my grandparents helped raise, said to me "Gin Gin could afford to buy a new car every two years on interest alone from her investments."  Even though I thought it was a little crass for him to say that it did give me a sense of pride of how she took care of herself and others.

Now, Doll Baby, my mother, was the exact opposite of her mother.  She was born a free spirit and an only child so she was not just used to ALL the attention, she demanded it.  She was one of those people that did whatever she wanted and knew that she had a dependable mother to fall back on if times got too tough.  If mom had $5, she spent $6.  If she wanted to sit and read books for the entire weekend as every dish in the house pilled up in the sink, that's exactly what she did.  Or if a friend stopped by on her motorcycle and said "you wanna to to San Antonio with me?" - away they went.  I realized when I was in my early 20's and at a pre-going out cocktail party that the peculiar smell I was in was not only my friends smoking pot - it was a smell I'd noticed my entire early childhood after I went to bed.  My mother was a gypsy, a bohemian, most well read, and she could piss me off in less than half an hour while we watched Jeopardy and she could question more than 90% of all the answers.  I loved her for all her qualities and in spite of the others.

If I could ask each of them one thing I think I'd like to know what their goals were when they were my age today because I know how it all turned out.

 Requested, confirmed, BOOKED.

We love to hear these things!  

 This was, however, a trial in what I preach to others.  Whenever I hear talent complaining on set about how long it's taking to film something or that their spot isn't starting on time I always tell them: "You're booked for the entire day - that means the entire day". 

A few days ago the request to audition for this spot came around and it said "Between $1,700-$1,800 for 3 spots".  Then we were told, after we were booked, that it would pay $700 for 1 spot.  Ugh, OK.  Look, it's $700 more than I had.  We also got two different revisions, right up to the minute, on our shoot schedule.  Mine was originally at 12:30pm, then it was changed the day before to 10:30 with an actress coming in at 11:00.  I figured I'd be done before lunch so I scheduled a reader at 3:00 to knock out an audition for a flick in ATL.  I showed up at 10:00 and the chick that came after me was called to set before me.  Then the PA said to me "I didn't eve know you were here".  Well, introduced myself to you when I got here at 10, I'm sorry if I wasn't clear on who I was.  Then the director called for the actress and said to me "We'll get to you as soon as we can but it'll probably be after lunch", I'll do whatever you need me to but I'll need to rearrange my afternoon.  "Do you need to be somewhere?"  I just have to be home by 3:00.  It was a little awkward.

When the lunch bell rang and we all gathered to get our box of Church's chicken, I approached the director and apologized.  I said that I was clear for whatever he needed and I didn't mean to make a special case out of myself.  He shook my hand sand said that he'd manage to get me where I need to be and thanked me.  And that he did.

I felt like a complete ass.  Even though I wasn't rude, I did make an awkward situation and went against everything that I know to be true when you show up to set.  I'll just tuck this away and remember when I'm planning my day around a shoot in the future.  Even I can make a mistake.  :)

 Whatever it was I said I didn't do it - but I did.

Every September there was a Knight family reunion at White Oak Lake State Park at the pavilion.  This was my grandmother's, Virginia, side of the family and it was the second weekend of the month around the time of my great grandmother, Josie, and her sister, Trudy, birthday they shared.  There would be no less than one hundred people that would turn out for the full day of visiting and playing on the shore.  The ice chests and Chevy pickup you see were Uncle Peewee's and there were more like 10 chests that he'd ice down more canned drinks than you've ever seen in your life.  We could have as many as we wanted and you'd usually see each kid, at one time or another, puke behind a tree - not tell anyone - and run back and get another coke.  

I remember those days like they were yesterday.  Everyone eating potluck, more hugs and laughs than you could shake a stick at.  I'd usually hide behind my mother or grandmother or sneak off by myself and walk the trails or run down to the boat dock and throw things in the lake.  I was so incredibly shy and I'd usually   get scolded for such by other family members but that's not really what I remember so well.  

You know that feeling when you're not just happy but so is everyone else around you?  That's the best way to describe it.  50 to 60 cars parked along the pine tree lined drive leading up to the pavilion and nobody leaving until the sun started to dip behind the trees over the lake.  Babies crying, old people laughing, young people telling jokes, boats speeding by, paddle boats splashing in the water.  I never remember a dog being there but I do remember the squirrels coming close and the birds flying up in the rafters and my grandmother shooing them away saying "get out of here you nasty bastard".  If she really hated something, she'd call out their worst feature and end it with bastard - like Kojak was "that bald headed bastard" and Columbo was "that cross-eyed bastard".  (I'm laughing so hard remembering that).

After spending the Christmas and New Year holidays alone and talking to a few of my older cousins last weekend, my mind is wondering to those little places I remember when I was a tiny one and up through my teens.  They're good memories.  

 YOU SUCK!

Have you ever stopped to think how long you've either owned an appliance or how long you've used a certain brand?  My mother bought a used demo model Rainbow vacuum cleaner in 1993 and even though it was more difficult to use than the Kirby vac we had at the time, it was an instant staple in her home and now mine.  When mom got a new(er) model in the early 2000's, she gave me the old one and I used it until around 2014 when it quite literally blew up while using it.  20 years - not too shabby.  The following week or so I was at a thrift store and a lady was dragging what appeared to be an identical model out of her SUV and I walked over to the worker and said "I'll buy that right now - name your price" - Um, $20.  "Um, sold".  I hadn't thrown away all the attachments from the one that mom had so I incorporated and threw away the most used ones and voila - back in business.  

This past week I filled up the water basin,  hooked everything together, and headed out the back door to vacuum out the car and the top clear plastic compartment let go of the motor housing and two big wires were dangling loose from the disconnect.  The holes the screws had been in had disintegrated.   Dammit!

I picked everything up and emptied out the rest of the water from the basin and headed inside.  I looked up "Rainbow sales and service" on the internet.  The service part was key since they're independently sold by representatives - and I found a shop locally.  I waited 2 hours for the shop to open and while waiting I looked at their Facebook page.  For the past 3 years there were CONSTANT posts about "shop local" and how hard it is to make a living if people don't shop and give their business to small mom and pop shops like theirs.  OK, I'm a small business myself - I'll call and whatever they say I'll do and I will spend up to $250 to get this thing fixed because it should last another however many years.  

RING RING - Hello?  I explained the problem, sorry, I TRIED to explain the problem but I only got ass far to say mine was a 1993 model; "Sorry, I can't do anything with those.  The parts are obsolete and nobody works on those anymore.  I could sell you a new one and give you $200 trade for yours but I'll just throw it away."  Well, I have seen parts available online; "Excuse me sir but those are crappy Chinese parts from China and good luck actually getting one".  Well, If I could get this housing part can I bring it all to you an...; "No.  We can't...............No, it's just not worth the time."  Final answer, Joe?  "Yeah, sorry but I'd just buy a new one."  Well, a new one isn't exactly in my budget right now.  Do you have a refurbished one?  What are those prices?  "No.  Haven't had one since the pandemic started."  If you'll take my name and number, I'd gladly accept a call if you get one in.  "Nah, probably won't be getting any in to rebuild".  Well, Joe, have a great day. "Uh-huh, you too man.".  Click.

Now, I tried to take the bastard apart myself and figure out how to replace the broken part but the guff comes from disconnecting the wires from the on/off switch.  You have to have a new switch because when the wires come out (to remove all of them through a specific hole in the top of the housing) the back of the switch breaks and they wires don't go back in.  I now understand why Joe was hesitant but I mean, I found a new fucking switch and I put the thing back together with a used housing and it took me about 2 hours labor total and 4 days to wait in the parts (that weren't from China).  

Since I'm no expert on these things and I can't guarantee my own work - I'm on the lookout for a new(er) model to replace the one I just fixed.  Then, I'll take her to the same thrift store I bought her from and let someone else enjoy some time together.  

As I re-read this I'm wondering - am I the only person I know that will actually fix something instead of throwing it away and buying a new one?  

Happy 2022!