2015 - the first short film I had a speaking role in was Five Star Dinner Club.  It squeaked into the Louisiana Film Prize festival as a top 10 contender.  Per the contest guidelines, it was shot entirely in Louisiana and offered me one day on set with an overnight stay.  The experience of being on set was not what I was expecting but the only thing I had to compare it to was being on set of Dallas during their 3 year run in Dallas.  A TNT TV series was not the same thing as an independent short film.  Good lesson in itself!  

After the film was selected to be in the festival, we campaigned hard for it to win - of course.  Part of the scheme was to get as many people to choose to view the film and the winners were based 50% on audience participation.  I baked over 500 cookies with a label of the film logo on the back.  The weeks leading up to the event, everyone blasted over social media about the contest and I'd talked my cousin Diane and her husband as well as my mother into driving to Shreveport to participate.  I sent out explicit instructions on where to be and when and they would stay with me in my room at the El Dorado casino hotel.  The day finally came to travel down, on the 10th of October - the day before the screenings started. I packed a full bar in my black Cadillac and arrived in Shreveport around 1pm and proceeded to get everything ready.  I reached out to my family to let them know I'd arrived and left messages that I looked forward to seeing them early the next morning.  The entire crew came to my room around 4:30 and we had some cocktails then packed a roadie and headed down to the first venue for interviews and conversation.  On the way to the first bar my phone rang and it was Diane and I let it go to voicemail.  I felt my phone ringing a few more times and when I finally checked it I had 8 missed calls and a text message from Diane to call her.  Mind you, Diane and her husband George, they both a a PhD in their respected fields of study and all I could think was "how the fuck hard is it to understand simple instructions that they needed to call so many times for confirmation on where to be and when?"  I'd already had enough to drink that I was what you'd call "in my cup".  So I called her back on a break between venues and was just about to have an interview for my participation in the movie.  When I called her back George answered the phone.  "J.R., you need to come home".  What the hell?  "George, I'm in the middle of...", "J.R., your mother has passed away."  "I'll be there in 2 hours."

Game over.  I've never sobered up so fast in my life.  I told the director and her husband and he followed me back to the hotel where I packed up and got swiftly on the road.  It took about an hour before reality settled in.  This is why she didn't answer the phone.  Then I thought about the presence my mother, Doll Baby, was in the universe.  Ask anyone, she took up all the air, space, and ability in the room.  So, on this my most important day in my early film career she took the show once again.  I don't mean to be crass or sound malevolent, it was just how her life was.  I had a good laugh at the fact her final act overshadowed my most important achievement to that date.  

When I got to Camden I first stopped at her house.  It was 9PM and the street was quiet, there were no lights on, her car was in the garage.  I sat and cried for a while then left and went to Diane and George's house across town.  I didn't sleep that night.  I got up the next morning and started the process of final arrangements and Diane went with me.  On the way to the funeral home she said "well, she trumped your big day today" and we both laughed.  I wasn't mad and at that moment I wasn't sad.  It's hard to see a parent lying in front of you with no life left in their body but it does help you to understand what is important in your life.  For me it's letting people around me know that I love them - forgiving when its hard and enjoying each day when its easy.