I'll have one debilitating hangover, please.

Things that should make you hesitate: discount heart surgery, putting your hand in an open flame, and the "SUNDAY FUNDAY" text from you favorite alcoholic friend. 

It started at 1:45 and ended at 7pm.  My favorite bartender doesn't always add all my drinks to the tab so it's hard to say if I had 3 drinks or 23.  I do know that transferring from one bar to the another, the final barkeep took my drink order and just handed me the cashed out ticket, he didn't even offer to open a tab so I leaned in and asked "Should I go home" to which he replied "yes". 

I'm a little worse for ware today - words are hard.  I did sleep from 7:30 to 6:30, so that's a huge plus.  The downside is I don't know who these people are that have sent me text messages.  I purposefully didn't take my phone with me because I can't trust myself not to do really fucked up shit when I get really fucked up - my friends are tired of getting a picture of the tip of my dick and a urinal asking if they day was draining.  I also need to remember to NOT give my phone number to anyone.  I just can't remember the next day who they are.  I'm fairly certain I got married last night.

If you'll excuse me - I need to walk down to the strip and retrieve my car.  

I wonder if I took a nap on the way home last night.  I don't feel molested so I'm going to guess not.

Happy President's Day!