Torn.

It's been a week of the highest highs and the lowest lows.  From the previous week of getting two auditions from Beth Sepko in Austin, one for a commercial that I was unofficially put on hold for a featured background role to turn to OCP that never panned out (deduced from not hearing back a solitary word up until the shoot day) to this week getting an email from my agent that I'm pinned for Season 2 Ep.17 of Walker as the co-star bad guy that's the focus of the episode.  Pretty major.  I've waited 7 years to even get pinned and it finally happened.  

Tuesday was a friend of mine, Kris Gentry's,  birthday - the big 60!  Kris can be described as a giant ball of consideration and the first to set expectations of any situation while making you feel like you're the only person in the room as she hangs on every word you have to say.  About six months go she was diagnosed with Idiopathic Pulmonary Fibrosis and immediately started, in her words, sporting a very fashionable portable oxygen machine - suitable for any occasion. Yesterday she lost her battle with IFP after finding out on her birthday that she not only would need a double lung transplant but because of her heart having been so overworked compensating for her underproductive lungs, she also would need a heart transplant. It's so surreal to refer to her in the past tense. I called her sister/roommate/BFF last night and the traveled up to their home this morning and helped her clean their apartment in preparation of her out of town family coming to visit. Her sister, Kim, was the first work friend I had after moving to Dallas in 2003. I know she'll be lost as they spent practically every day of their life together.

I am and want to be so excited about the potential advances in my career that came this week but I don't feel like celebrating just yet and without one of my biggest cheerleaders my determination to not disappoint her has to prevail.

I hope she knew how much I loved her - I hope you do too.

-J.R.